How To Hookup Online

The Real Flavor of Love

By: A. Rios

While cum may not be at the top of your list of favorite flavors, there are a few tricks to making oral sex a treat for everyone, not just the person on the receiving end.

“Penis Colada” anyone?

Flavor your jizz by watching what goes into your mouth first. Eating lots of acidic fruits such as oranges and tangerines will make you taste tangy as a Sweet Tart, while tropical fruits like pineapple and mangoes will sweeten your sauce up real nice. Also on the list of spunk sweeteners: melon, kiwi, celery, and cinnamon.

Cutting down on red meat makes it a treat.

Ever wonder why your hippie cousin gets so much head? Well, his vegan diet may have something to do with it. Red meat and dairy products make semen taste bitter and acidic, while a more organic diet will make you taste more, well, natural. Maybe the idea of limiting yourself to rabbit food isn’t your cup of tea, but keep in mind that even just cutting back on the bitter fodder items makes a big difference. And if passing on a few whoppers a week means a few extra blow jobs, well that just sounds worth it. Keep in mind however that on your trip to the salad bar there are a few things you should avoid. Asparagus, cabbage, onions and garlic will not only make you taste bitter, but will also result in a pungent smell that could deter anyone planning a trip down south.

A party in your pants.

You may think constant partying will help your sex life, but excessive drinking and smoking will give your load a nasty after-taste. If you do have a few COCKtails, stay away from beer. Have you ever been hung-over the morning after a raging kegger and felt like the stench of beer was exuding from your pores? Well that happens all over your body, including your junk. Instead, try some mixed Vodka drinks or even Sake.

“Hard” candy.

If all else fails, there are some external things you can try to take the bite out of your spunk. Altoids will let your partner enjoy a “burst” of minty freshness while you get a tasty tingle. Once you get bored with the Altoids trick, you can also try Pop Rocks. Ya, you remember Pop Rocks, the tasty, tangy candy that crackles in your mouth when you eat it? Not only are they yummy, but the popping gives an extra tingling sensation that will send chills up your spine. Don’t use too many though, you want it to hurt so good, not hurt like hell.

Pour some sugar (or syrup) on me.

Turn your shaft into a lollipop by slathering on chocolate syrup, whipped cream or any kind of sweet indulgence. If you don’t feel like raiding the fridge, you can also try Blow Job gel, which comes in all kinds of flavors like strawberry, grape and even cola. Ladies, apply flavored lip gloss before going down. Nice flavors at your lips can smooth out the taste of splooge. For even more adventure, try anything containing a lip plumping ingredient — it tingles to the tune of excitement. You may want to be careful with these though; try just a little first to make sure it won’t irritate the skin, then lick and suck away.

And you thought oral sex couldn’t get any more fun!

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