Getting Over the Sex Toy Taboo
The first time I ever handled a sex toy was my junior year of college. I was sitting in my Human Sexuality class listening to a speaker talk about the “sex positive” movement, when she pulled something that looked like a purple light saber out of her bag.
“This is a vibrator,” she explained, waving it around as the frat boys behind me laughed like a bunch of sixth graders hearing the word “intercourse” for the first time. As she talked about the vibrator in detail, she walked around the classroom so everyone could see it up close. Then, she asked for a volunteer.
“Shit. Not me, not me…” I thought, as our eyes met.
“You, with the curly hair! You seem like a fun gal, come up here for a second.”
Damn it.
As I walked up to the front, I tried to hide my discomfort, though I was sure my flushed cheeks and trembling hands were a dead giveaway. I had never been the shy type, but when it came to sex I was so inexperienced that the mere thought of discussing it in front of 300 classmates was downright terrifying. Yet there I was, standing before my peers as the speaker showed me how to operate a vibrator. Now there’s something to talk about in therapy.
As traumatized as I was by the experience though, it made me see sex toys in a whole new light. Why was the subject so taboo, anyway? I knew plenty of people who used them, yet many were too embarrassed to admit it.
Even now, sex toys are sold in retail stores and all over the internet, but how often do you see someone skipping around the office in excitement because their new Fleshlight came in? Don’t even get me started on the people who go to sex shops, only to stand there giggling at the sight of the giant dongs, vibrators and restraints.
Sure, I was once one of those people, but my unexpected career in the adult industry quickly opened my eyes up to the fact that when it comes to using toys, there’s really nothing to be embarrassed about. Granted, I’m exposed to a lot of sex on a daily basis, much of it involving people with sexual devices stuck into their orifices, but you don’t have to work in the sex industry to get comfortable with sexual aides.
If you’re feeling a little reluctant to throw a few toys into the mix, I suggest trying a more “hands-on” approach to help get you more comfortable with the idea. Go to a sex shop and have a look around. I guarantee you’ll see lots of people openly discussing their sex toy preferences without an ounce of shame or embarrassment. While you’re there, familiarize yourself with the different kinds of sexual aids, and see what works for you. Touch the floor samples and get a feel for the different textures and sensations you can experience with a great dildo or vibrator. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, either. The staff is generally very knowledgeable, and in many cases have used the products themselves.
If having your sex toy collection discovered is still a concern, you can always find toys disguised to look like other household objects. Many companies make glass dildos that look like paperweights, and pieces of abstract art. Some are so well disguised you can leave them out in the open and most people would be completely clueless as to what you actually do with the pretty glass sculptures on your mantel.
Above all, just remember, sex toys are meant to be enjoyed, so let go and have some fun!